But, Why?
by L'il Will
Summary: This ones for Settai. After Ken breaks up with Yolei, he can't figure out why he did it and gets a little help from his homosexual friend Davis (who used to love him)


Before we begin, I just like to say that this for Settai. Simply for the reason she asked for it. In my fic 'Loving Gift' she asked if I would write a Kenyako in a review, so I did, just for the heck of it. Anyhoo, on with the story.

But Why?

By: L'il Will

"Look. I'm just not sure we can be together anymore." Tears welded up in my eyes and it was evident that the same was true for her. She clutched her hands together held them to her chest. I guess that holding something tightly might help ease emotional pain.

"I'm very, very sorry. I'm just going through a rough time right now. I can assure you, that you weren't the problem, I was."

"But, why?" she quietly cut in. She sniffled as she finished to prevent her nose from running. She avoided looking at me by staring at the ground a few feet to the side of where she was standing.

"I just feel that I can't give you what someone else can. There are a lot of other guys out there, and I'm sure that most of them are better than me."

"You...you're just in denial." she spit out and finally looked at me. "You're putting yourself down. You've got to be one of the best guys I've ever met. You can't say you want me to be happy! Especially not when you leave me to be miserable without you. I...I love you. Ken."

"Yolie, I want you to know that I still love you with all of my heart, but I can't give you what other guys can."

"Then I'll provide for both of! And you're smart. Things will change for the better soon. I know it."

"I don't mean money. I meant something bit more."

"I see..." she sniffled, trying to fight off the river of tears welding up inside her eyes.

"I...I'm sorry."

I used my arm to cover up my face as I turned and ran. Out of her room, out of her apartment, and, regrettably, out of her life. 

'I don't entirely know why I just did that. I guess I feel that I'm not right for her. There are so many better guys out there, but, then again, there are a lot more worse ones.'

I stepped into the elevator with my hands in my pockets. 'And anyway, am I going to say that to every girl with a crush on me until they get they get the best single guy the world has to offer. I suppose, eventually, I would be the best, but that would take a while. I don't think I'm going to tell every girl that anyway.'

I walked out of the elevator as its doors opened after if stopped its descent. I waved at the man at the front desk whom I had come to know as Charlie before stepping outside into the cruel and harsh night.

'We had a good thing going. Why did I just break it off, out of the blue? Is the once proud genius that I was now a moronic idiot who can't figure why he does things? Why don't I just quit right now? I could end it all, right here and now, and the turnout to my funeral would be minimal. Mom, Dad, Grandparents, Aunt Jesuo, and maybe some friends, five tops.'

I sighed and trudged through the park an my way home. Lovers on all sides of me, making out under the beautiful moonlit sky with sky with stars dancing all around them. It must have been 'romantic.'

'Love isn't dead like all the heartbroken idiots say. It's just been mortally injured by morons not unlike myself. We are the kind confused and emotionally drunk men who cut the string of the cupids bow. We can't and don't understand why we do the things we do. We just don't think before we do. I only broke up with Yolie because I saw how flirty she was with me good friend Koushiro, and I thought that she would be happier with him, but I don't know why I felt that way. I know that she's like that with all of her good friends and I guess I had just seen too much and figured she didn't love me, but why would she feel so sad about my break up then.'

I looked in the sky and stared at the brightest thing I saw. My sad frown turned into one of rage as I yelled. "Venus! Why must you torment me, so?!"

The lovers that surrounded me looked up from their significant others to stare at my with their own dirty eyes, but even I wasn't enough to keep them from swallowing each other for more than ten seconds.

I shoved my hands back into my pockets and trudged along the beaten path, quietly grumbling to myself as proceeded.

"You almost make it seem like she's only up there to get you. There's me, too, you know." came a familiar voice from behind me. I quickly turned around to see my good friend, Davis. 

"Oh, hey they Davis." 

"Hi, Ken. How's it going?"

"Fine. Fine. How are you?" 

"Daisuke Motamiya, or Davis to which he was referred, had been my best friend for the past three years. Davis was a homosexual and proud of it. However, being sixteen, he feared that revealing his choice of lifestyle would result in a severe beating by some homophobic skirt caser that felt Davis was coming on to him simply by walking by. He kept this a secret to everyone except a select few that he knew would never reveal it. He still remained best friend, even after he confessed his love to me and I had to reject him, after all, I'm straight.

'I suppose that's what he meant when he said that I'm not the only one with love problems. He told me that the whole crush thing he had for a certain girl we know named Kari was just denial. She's in the circle of friends that know about him. After being rejected by her for what seemed like the fiftieth time, he came to me for some help. I told him that if he couldn't win with her, then he should seek someone else. 'There are plenty of fish in the sea, why don't you cast another line instead of struggling to catch this one.' Those were my exact words, but he took those words of mine to literally and he thought I was coming on to him, and before I knew it, he had his arms around me, kissing me. I managed to get him off of me, and I yelled at him, and told him I wasn't like that. He left that day, his heart shattered and what remained of it was full of shame and misery. You would think that after an experience like that, we would hate each other, but we still remained the best of friends and still are to this very day.'

"I'm great! How 'bout you?" 

"You already asked me." I told him smiling.

"I know I did..." he responded. "...but you lied."

My smile disintegrated. Tears began to drench my eyes and fall down my eyes and my cheeks burned for reasons: unknown.

"Woah! Hey! What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying! Go away! Leave me alone!"

"Well, alright. Fine. If that's what you really want, your wish is my command. You're lonely enough as it is, but hey, that's not my problem." He started to walk away down the path again.

"Davis!" I called out to him.

"Yes?" he replied, turning around.

"Have you...have you ever felt that you weren't good enough for someone?"

"Of course I have. There was you to start off. When you told me we couldn't be together, I was heartbroken. I always figured you were gay, too, like me, but when you rejected me, I thought that the only person in the world who would actually hang around with me and be my friend was too good for me. I thought everyone was better than me, I wasn't good enough for anyone. I only discovered you weren't gay a year later when you started dating Yolie. Think of it. A whole year of depression and the feeling that you were put on the earth to make people feel better about their love problems. When the only person who actually hung out with you doesn't love you the same way you love them, you think like you're not good enough for anyone. But I'm all over it now. No need to worry about me."

"Davis...I...Thanks. You really helped."

"Go to her, Ken. She needs you. She needs you more than you will ever know."

"Thanks, Davis!" I cried out, waving as I turned around and started running back to her. My Yolei.

I ran through the streets and up the sidewalk and, before long, I was at Yolei's apartment complex.

I dashed inside and into the elevator before pressing the button for the fifth floor. The floor where Yolei lived.

The elevator music hummed as it pulled me upward, giving me time to think.

'Davis' pain was much greater than mine, and he got through it.' 'What was I thinking?! I wouldn't be helping her. I'd just be hurting her.' 'Discoveriesabout each other can help us learn more about ourselves.'

As soon as the doors opened, I flew out and down the hall to room 529. Yolei's apartment.

I knocked lightly on her door before a reassuring "Come in." sounded from behind it. I could recognize that voice anywhere. It was her.

My hand turned the chrome doorhandle and pushed the door open into Yolei's living room.

She was on the couch, watching a movie on her television. I would have at least thought she would be crying or something. She doesn't even seem to be upset at all. It's almost an insult.

"Hey, Ken. How are you? she asked without even bothering to turn her head.

"Uh, I'm fine."

"That's good."

"Look. Yolei, I'm..."

"Sorry? Yeah, I know."

"I..."

"Made a big mistake. Yeah, I figured that, too.

"Well, yeah, but..."

"Davis called me not more than five minutes ago. Told me that were on your way over to apologize." She finally turned her head around and smiled.

"So...?"

"All is forgiven. You did something dumb and I get to critisize you for it for the rest of your natural life."

"Come here." I said, outstretching my arms to her. She leapt over the back of her sofa and ran up to me, hugging me like she would never, or could never, let me go.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." she whispered in my ear. 

"I won't I promise."

Fin


End file.
